Something To Hide
by cryingintoblack
Summary: Beast Boy has been keeping a dark secret from the team, and now, his secret love becomes a major threat and nothing can stop her, will now be the time to release the truth? R&R or I probably will discontinue this fic


Beast Boy couldn't sleep. He really didn't want to face it again. The nightmares. He had had them since he was about 5 years old but he still wasn't used to it. They still scared him. Even when he conquered the monster in them, a new one would show up the next night. A never ending cycle.

No one in the tower knew, but he stayed up most nights, he only slept when absolutely necessary and when he did, it wasn't exactly a peaceful sleep. Haunted with demons and monsters of all kinds. Clawing at him from the pits of hell, trying to pull him in, to turn to their side. But that wasn't the only reason they scared him. They also scared him, for the fact that they made him face what he was born as. A demon. 'Just like Raven,' he'd think to himself in the middle of the night, every night. If only she knew that, if _anyone _knew that. The thoughts were to horrible to bear, literally. His back burned again. Due to a certain birthmark. 'More like a scar,' he thought as he climbed out of bed. He had decided to go on a walk on the island surrounding the T-shaped building that he, and 4 other teens, called home.

It always helped him clear his mind. Something about the night air relaxed him, and he thought to himself how fitting that was. The lonesome night was fitting for those of his kind, though his powers strictly involved water and fire. He was a walking yin and yang.

As he walked along the edge of the island he had a sudden urge in him. An urge to jump into the surrounding waters and feel free. Free from anything and everything. And upon feeling this urge he did so, slipping off his shoes, followed by his shirt and belt. He had done this only one other time. After the beast had caused everyone to be a monster. Causing him to relive his dreams. He thought of himself doing the horrible things that were done to him every time he dared to close his eyes.

He was lucky enough to inherit his mother's humor and good attitude. It helped him mask the pain. His mind drifted to other things. Mainly his secret love. He thought her to be perfect. In every way, every form. Even her chilling attitude and dark sarcasm. He chuckled to himself as he dived into the chilling dark water. Raven thought that no one in this world understood her, when in reality, the only person in the world that understood adored her and was right under her nose.

He started to swim laps in the water. Back and forth. Back and forth. The pattern calmed him. He stopped for a moment and then started to swim back to the more shallow water where he could actually touch. He suddenly had another urge, no, a need, to use his ability. To shape the water to his liking. To whatever wanted. He had no real idea of what to create, just the want of what he forming those things. He started to wove the water into simple things, spirals that came into the air and fell just as easily.

He moved absent-mindedly. Not really paying attention. Lost in his own thoughts that circled around her. He really was love sick, he realized with a shock. No better than Robin or Starfire. He came out of his thoughts long enough to see what he created. A perfect replica of his love. Every hair placed perfectly on her head. Every curve perfect. He entertained thoughts of freezing it solid and leaving it in front of the tower's living room window, for her or somebody else to look at and become shocked by it. Who in there right mind would love the half-demon goth? And who could have made the replica, so flawless in appearance? While thinking this his conscious betrayed him (for the 7th time this week) and proceeded with the plan, lowering the temperature of the water around the statue so that it would freeze and covering it with a second layer of water so that it would glisten. After this, he gently pushed the statue to the desired position.

As he realized he was doing this he cursed his consious, yet, he thanked it as well. He would NEVER had done this if he was aware of it and would probably ruin his creation in some way. It was better to let his consious guide him, he decided, besides, it was not like he had a choice in the matter. He was merely an able body that was forced to follow it, no matter how much he didn't want to.

As he headed back to the tower, he stopped for a moment, to look back at the statue and see it glisten in the moonlight. And as he turned back around, facing the tower, he thought he saw someone watching from the window, but then again, it was probably his imagination. Then again...maybe it wasn't...

As everyone well knew, Raven was up every night. At first Robin had disagreed with her sleep habits at first but later learned to except it, considering it didn't effect her performance. She mostly spent this time gathering her thoughts, reading, and...even though she would NEVER admit it...practicing video games. She didn't know why she did it, but she had guessed that it was her way to get closer to Beast Boy, her crush for two years now, even though she knew that her fantasy would ever become a reality.

This night was different though. She had an urge to do something different, though she didn't know what. Sure, sometimes she drifted from her usual but it always drifted back on course and everything was right again. But tonight she wanted to do something..._drastic_, was one way to describe it, she decided. _Drastic, daring, new_. Something human teenagers did a lot. Though she had this idea in mind, she didn't know what to do. It didn't have to be much, just something small that was unusual for her. Like...

Sneaking out to a party. Perfect. There was this one she had been listening Cyborg and Robin yammer on about for the past week. And she knew exactly where too. All she needed was an outfit and one of those was tucked safely away in the back of her closet. She rushed down the hall to her room.

It only took a second to change into it. She was used to complicated outfits such as this considering her uniform took her at least 10 minutes alone to get into. She had gotten the outfit the second time Starfire had dragged her to the mall and insisted her to get it. And then they spent the rest of the afternoon getting accessories to embellish it with. In the end, Raven had her ears pierced, a goth/punk outfit, a pair of fishnet gloves and tights, a spiked dog-collar with matching wristband, and a pair of black leather stelleto boots that came up to her knees. Raven had insisted to Starfire that she would never wear it and it was just a waste of time and money. But, of course, lost this particular battle. Tonight, though, she was thankful she had allowed Starfire to get it. The outfit was perfect for Raven, a black tank top with a red rose on it and a long-sleeved mesh see-through over it with long flowing sleeves, a black leather mini skirt that went to mid thigh with a black belt that had many strands of black leather that tied on the side. Topped off with her accessories, including a pair of crimson rose earrings that Starfire had loved and secretly, Raven had too.

She was set to go. And as she walked down the hallway to the living room to get her coat, she hesitated as she looked out the window to see an ice sculpture in the water of...her. As she looked for the creator she saw a figure walking up towards the tower. 'Beast Boy,' she thought to herself as he walked closer until he finally disappeared into the tower. And then it dawned on her. She couldn't be seen by him! Certainly not in this. Not to mention that she had seen the sculpture, obviously meant to be a surprise. She ran as fast as she could to the closest reasonable hiding place she could find. And as he walked in she thought to herself, just in time. And as he walked down the hallway to his bedroom. She decided that she didn't need to sneak out, and this, was enough excitement, for tonight.

Beast Boy stayed in bed the rest of the night, doing one of his many favorite things...absolutely _nothing. _Raven had (indirectly) introduced him to this when she threw him out the living room window after he had gotten her angry on accident. (actually on purpose, she looked so hot when she was angry.) He had "accidentally" bugged her by asking her to play video games the fourteenth millionth time after a distinct threat of "if you don't stop asking I will throw you out the living room window". On the way down Beast boy had hit his head on the side of the tower. The team had thought him to be unconscious due to there lack of knowledge of being completely demon and no human could have survived the fall and the hit without being knocked out or something. He had kept up the act because he enjoyed watching everyone worry about him. It was a good insurance that they actually cared.

And as he lay on his bed his thoughts drifted, as they pretty much always did, to a certain dark half-demon. What had he seen in the window? Or more specifically, _who _had he seen in the window? Raven probably, she was always awake, she slept just as little as he did, it was a demon thing. And then it dawned on him, if she did see him last night then chances were that she saw the statue too. What would her reaction be? Would she play up the part or just ignore it? Maybe even just blurting she knew who did it and revealing him to lead up to the most embarrassing moment of his life? 'She wouldn't do that,' Beast boy reassured himself as he sat up and the sound of alarm clocks started off. Beginning with Robin's at 7:00, followed by Starfire at 7:15, and then Cyborg at 7:30, and ending with his own at 7:35 which he set only for the act of being human.

As he got off his bed he continued his thoughts on Raven and the night before. And remembered something about her last night. She hadn't been wearing her same old leotard and cloak. It had been different. This didn't really matter to anyone but, to Beast Boy, this was another way to make her angry. He _loved_ to make her angry. Though sometimes he didn't intentionally and this really hurt him, as if the only emotion she could towards him was hate and anger. He wanted to be the shoulder she could cry on, the person she could trust with anything. He wanted to be close to her.

As he got out of the shower he decided to try to not ruin her day, it was hard enough on her not being able to show emotion and he wasn't making it any easier. When he got to the living room everyone, including Raven, was gawking at something out the window, 'most likely the statue' he thought to himself as he put on a cheesy grin and ran over to his team mates. "Hey guys, what you lookin' at?" He said already knowing the answer. "There's an ice sculpture of Raven out in the water!" shouted Robin as he mentally calculated who could have done this. He'd have it figured out in about a day or two. Robin was a smart guy.

Beast Boy turned his head to the girl sitting on the couch, book in hand. "Raven, aren't you the least bit interested in this? It's your secret admirer after all," Beast Boy said to her, trying to see if she knew, maybe she would give him a hint. "Sure, whatever," were the only words that left her mouth, but Beast Boy would have sworn that he saw her smile.

Of course she knew, though she would never admit to it. These were the thoughts that passed through our green demon friend thought as he turned to walk out of the room towards his bathroom. He had already taken a shower but he had nothing better to do. 'I wonder if she liked it,' he thought to himself as he waited for the tub to fill. As the water came closer to the top he began to undress, continuing his thoughts on Raven. "Maybe she really _didn't _see me," he mused aloud as he put his right foot into the warm bath water, savoring the feel of it against his colder, dry skin. It was quite a stupid thought, actually. He knew she saw him. "Wait a minute," he said this out loud to himself as he eased the rest of his emerald green body into the soothing clear liquid, "maybe she doesn't know about me seeing her."

Yes, this seemed like the absolute situation. She would have come to him on the subject by now otherwise. 'Maybe she's just afraid,' Beast Boy thought as he used his abilities to twist about the water, just as he had the night before only this time, he paid attention to what he was doing. She wasn't afraid, Raven was forward with everything, even when people didn't want her to. She was very honest about her opinion and didn't care who objected to it. She definitely wasn't afraid.

Shortly after Beast Boy had left the living room, Raven silently shut her book and left the room, unaware to everyone else due to there fascination with the sculpture, in search of where a certain green changeling had gotten to. 'Why did he do that?' Raven thought as she walked down the hall to Beast Boy's room, 'Does it mean he likes me? Or is it just a trick to make me feel like someone likes me?'. This last thought angered her and caused her to stop in her tracks. "He would never do that," Raven reassured herself as she started to move back down the hallway, but in the back of her mind, she wasn't to sure. Sure, Beast Boy was sweet and caring (unless it came to practical jokes, then he was ruthless) but what if this _was _a practical joke? What if he were just toying with her emotions as if they were tinker toys. No, Beast Boy wouldn't do that to her. Either way, these thoughts brought Raven to a halt and make her head back to her room, she needed to have a little "chat" with herself.

Just as Raven had finished gathering the personalities she began the meeting. "I have a problem and you people are the only one's who will help," Raven began calmly, knowing, just like every other meeting, it would end in chaos. "We'll help!" shouted an anonymous voice Raven knew was Happiness, she was always eager to help, though it got rather annoying. "Do we have to?" asked Fearful and Laziness in unison, though for different reasons. This comment automatically launched the emotions into the argument they had every time she came due to a problem. This was going to take awhile... a _long_ while. It was in this moment, Raven was glad she brought a book.

Beast Boy stared into the mirror. It had been a while since he had found himself in front of this particular mirror. He tried to keep certain things just locked away and the more he thought about them, the more tempting it was to break the lock and let everything behind the gates conquer him, and the rest of the world for that matter. But he was too kindhearted for that. He wasn't afraid of it, he just didn't want it to happen. He was content without the darkness, and so he kept it locked. But that didn't solve his problem. His mirror problem.

He recalled a time when he had stumbled upon another mirror not unlike this. He was being stupid. Of course he knew what that mirror was, and he knew the consequences of touching it. Only a demon's energy could have activated that mirror, and he knew he had more than enough. But the thought of entering it made his heart almost giddy, and then he had to follow through with it.

And Raven had been pissed.

'When _isn't _Raven pissed?' he thought as he began conjuring energy to activate the mirror that was his own. He felt a twinge of sadness for Raven. Her curse was almost more dreadful than his. To be the spawn of a demon was one thing, but to be an Empath as well? To never be able really grasp and take charge of your own feelings? That was a fate worse than Beast Boy could imagine. Being a demon meant emotions abound. It meant feeling more than a mortal ever could. It meant rage on the brink of genocide and love on the outskirts of world peace. It meant sadness that could flood the world and joy that brought the sun to warm the earth. And having the capacity to feel these things, and never be allowed to must be awful.

Beast Boy found himself being pulled in. It made him jump a little, since it had been so long, but he quickly recovered and stood to see that this looked NOTHING like he remembered.


End file.
